Early February Thoughts

The beginning of the new term has been very stressful for me. I have found that the difficulty of my inquiry is going to haunt me until everything is done - if everything gets done. The MAPP has been a very large learning curve for me to handle due to my teaching 8-10 hours daily from Monday to Saturday and having three children that need constant attention because they are children. I am glad however though that the beginning of this module began with some very good feedback from Adesola, about my module 2 inquiry which included some very good insight into the importance of how I need to state more clearly my methodology and theoretical framework. Along with more insight into possible ethical concerns and the fact that I should have included a literature review in my inquiry but didn’t fully understand what I was doing. Mistakes like these led me to reflect more upon a particular skype session for the MAPP at the end of last year about communication. I think that probably the largest aspects of the MAPP have been about learning how to communicate, overcoming fear, and discovering oneself as a professional. I began in module one, experiencing great difficulty in explaining myself, my ideas, and lines of thought. I still have a fear of explaining myself because I don’t feel as though I will ever do it properly due to my own personal conditions (this is something I will have to deal with somehow). When I started in module 1, one of the first skype meetings ended up being focused around fear, and what fear means to us. I have had a long time (a year almost now) to think about fear and reflect upon that idea of what it means to me. I have experienced now, that fear will adapt due to learning more and understanding more. I have read now several journal articles focusing on the change of fear(I could read more articles, because most of these focused on rats, and exterminating fear as derived from memory). Regardless, I have learned through my own experiences that one of the more important factors in overcoming certain fears are learning more about yourself, through the acts of learning other subjects, and the various approaches to learning them. By doing these things one will end up discovering more about oneself through the process of learning due to the interaction of various artifacts and literature required to learn the required subject, leading to the acquisition of enough premises to understand that ‘you do have a voice of your own, and you are allowed to use it.’ I have found that during the MAPP, the most difficult element is finding my own voice, and learning how, and if I am ‘allowed’(of whos permission to use it, I am uncertain still) to use it. As a classical dancer, you are specifically taught to not use your own voice and only taught to do what you are told. This teaching, I find leads to a very lowered level of self-confidence in myself, and also as I observe the students I teach, which means that there is almost a certainty that I am also guilty of the same cycle-forming system of training. Which leads to me look for a way to change.

New Beginnings

Beginnings mean many different things to me. I would consider a better word for beginnings as firsts. The reason I would do this because every time I think of a new beginning, even if it is an activity that one may have done many times before, they will probably do something a little differently. I am not going to list all of the firsts that I have experienced because there are far too many, and some of them are novels within themselves. I hold all of my beginnings as points where learning begins because every beginning from my own personal experience has lead to a change within myself. And I am looking forward to all of the changes, therefore, beginnings to come.

Welcome Back Skypes

This post is just a "recap" of what we talked about on January 19, 2019, in the 5 pm skype session. Firstly everyone had a brief introduction welcoming everyone to the new term/semester, for me, I was glad to Listen to Helen, and Lesley and to get a refreshed idea about navigating unihub, and exploring some of its new features and name changes. The discussion was also a great way to introduce new participant of the MAPP to the use of the online library, how to contact your advisors. We also got a new, or refreshed virtual tour of the unihub to aid students in finding the handbooks/resources etc. There were a good explanation and emphasis on the program being based upon each individual's professional practice and that the MAPP places great value upon the students need to reflect upon their personal professional practice in order to fully understand the MAPP.  There was an emphasis that the students/participants must be professional in their demeanour, in order to be able to self guide themselves throughout the MAPP, including being able to, and professional enough to  ask the appropriate questions and to be able to organize time appropriately so that individuals are able to get the most out of the program. Once we finished the virtual tour of unihub, and the good introduction to our advisors and librarian we then moved on to give each other a brief introduction of ourselves and got to learn about different peoples dance backgrounds, their interests in dance and how they interpret dance within their surroundings. Overall I was very pleased with the welcome back skype meeting, I was glad to see more information be presented in an even more organized form of delivery as the MAPP itself is continually developing over the years. I feel as though everyone involved in the direction, and organization of the MAPP must have an overwhelming sense of responsibility, and they deserve a continuing sense of accomplishment for the overall development of the MAPP. I am glad to be able to participate in such a unique learning environment (self-guided, but also indirectly and directly externally guided) program! I have really enjoyed how the MAPP is unfolding as it develops further.

Communication

What does communication mean to me?

Communication is in my opinion a category of processes that have been created by people to make a word for methods of interaction between things. I went to bed after the skype meeting last night and couldn't stop dreaming about communication as a thing that we use everyday and in everything that we do. I thought of this question: What is the reason for choosing the method that we use to make a communication, and what process and reasoning do we use to finalize our chosen method of communication to achieve our optimal ability to communicate in any given situation?

Could you please try to answer the question in the way that you feel best suites you? or ask for clarification if it ins't a clear question. 

And if you have any reading material that talks about his subject in detail, could you please post it in the comments below?

Task 3

As a Module two student. I have been working around the ideas of positivist, and non-positivist approaches, as well as dualism, and embodiment.

positivist and non-positivist is a fluid idea. I think that it all depends on what type of information, or approach you have to the world at any given time may appear to be different each time. I can't say that I am either a positivist, or a non-positivist, as I experience both positions through each and every given day. As a teacher I am both a deliverer of information as well as a personal counselor to students with their many many questions about every aspect of their lives.

As a human being I think that a non-positivist approach to life is more often the case than a positivist one, however a positivist approach during times where emotions can make a strong bearing on a situation a more positivist approach may be needed.

Embodiment. Embodiment for me is very odd, again I am very fluid in my understanding of embodiment, and dualism. How come there can't be both? Is there a reason the mind can't be separate from the body, and be the vessel of knowledge, and the body become the physical connection of the mind to the physical world? or is the physical world really just a form of conscience that we aren't yet able to determine? Again I feel that as I get older, and as I get more life experience my views are constantly changing on what I believe, and don't believe, and where I am positioned in my understanding of phenomenology, pragmatism, and ontology. I am afraid that I will only get the answers I await for when I am dead.

TASK 1

I see many different dance companies each year as they come to town (I tend not to see the local company, for personal reasons), I also spend time on the internet watching various choreographic works that I really enjoy (the benefit of the internet is skipping what you don't enjoy, the downside to this though is we skip half of what we can learn from whether the learning is small, or large). I am finding that through watching choreographic works of many different individuals and groups, that I don't tend to see patterns except for in a select few. For awhile Choreographers were using the expression of "organic" I feel as though they meant to mean that they wanted more of a monism approach to their work, and if you could say it like this; "a more reflective method of dancing" meaning the dancers are more into themselves when they dance instead of really performing for an audience. Which could very well be the goal of those choreographers, as well as 'giving' the audience an intimate moment by watching the dancer be so into themselves.

As I learn more about different notions of knowledge I am finding that my own choreographic ideas are changing as I learn to understand through these ideas of knowledge as well. I am trying new ways(to me) of expressing communication through choreography, to see what I can play into an audience and performers imagination.

Speaking with audience members after various performances I have learned that there must be no single truth, as everyone can watch a contemporary dance performance and 10 our of 10 people will have a different idea of what was meant to be said, and myself learning upon speaking to the choreographer, that the intended performance was a mere exercise from a workshop experimenting with connectivism.

Ultimately I have no idea what people's view on knowledge are, until they die. By that time it is to late to find out. If peoples understanding is constantly changing, and learning is perpetual, then people understanding of knowledge is also fluid and constantly changing. I don't think as though I would be able to say that I am leaning to one notion of knowledge. I feel as in a single day I go through many.

Keeping on Track

The hardest thing that I am experiencing throughout the MAPP is staying on track. I think I am enjoying the element of 'discovering' too much. I start teaching most days at 8:00 AM and I end teaching most days at 8:00 PM because of this, time is very limited making it an extremely valuable commodity. Like any valuable commodity it needs to be used wisely, any minor distractions may become the difference between success and failure. Learning to stay focused is essential for any goal oriented project with a deadline to be delivered on time. The more time one is able to devote to the project the more quality the project should attain.

Using time wisely is unfortunately, for myself, much more easily said than done. This may be because of dyslexia, or ADHD, or it could really be more common than not, and I am just not aware of other peoples feelings on this. Reading books such as "The Mature Student's Handbook" by Lucinda Becker is both an immense help, and also perhaps also a little detrimental, as it makes the planning that is required to stay on track seem easy. This already can be extremely difficult for individuals who come from professional dance backgrounds because, as in my own case, and in the case of a few other acquaintances,  I have found that we (dancers) have been conditioned to thinking about many different subjects simultaneously due to the nature of dance. And on top of all of this thinking while doing, being a dancer also that you need know a little about variety of subjects such as mathematics, kinesthetics, and other various humanities in order to succeed and do your job as a dancer professionally. The difficulty with learning about our own professional experiences, and what we have learned, is that we don't consider what we do as learning, or learning in a form that can be documented because to us, all of our multiple subjects, is just what we do, dance.

All of this learning, and doing is very difficult on people in general, so how does this connect with time management? Dancers are used to doing a multitude of activities at all times, perhaps this multitude of activities makes dancers constantly over stimulated? whatever the reason, I find that dancers in general tend to 'run away' with various tangents frequently, whether the dancers are in rehearsal, or actively choreographing, or in discussions with other people (which we have seen evident in each and everyone one of our Skype sessions). I would even go so far to say that without our advisers we are basically a bunch of school children who are fighting over who has the ball, and then where the ball gets thrown. So now imagine ourselves trying to be organized, and productive, and stick to one subject without advisers, parents, or some form of authority making sure that we stay on track. I think I am one of the children with the ball. However, I will keep pushing until I get it done.